pandandelion blog

ないよね。

（´・ω・｀）

（って、もう矛盾してる？w）

まぁ、これからちょくちょく書いていこうと思ってる

でも、まぁ、すぐやめてしまう？かな？(*‘ω‘ *)

私って、三日坊主

ザMIKKA☆BOUZU

の感じ？(｀・ω・´)

いや

（´・ω・｀）でしょうww

はぁ。

まぁ。

今は科目選択で悩んでるー

Am troubled over course selection now.

It’s like, there are so many courses that I want to take but so little time (I do want some alone time) and then I know that I should step out of my shell and uh try on those courses that require us to participate actively but there’s this thing inside of me that make me hesitate about that.

Gah.

（´・ω・｀）

だよ。

Anyway. I should be continuing German, Korean, and French. And then there’s the compulsory first year seminar… and then I’m debating between

• Intro Euro Studies (100% papers and I should be able to score in this but I’m afraid that I won’t be able to hold enough interest in this… even though I’m interested! AND I am indeed taking two European languages and should do this)
• Intro Soci (it’s on Sat! That’s the ultimate drawback. >
• History & Philo of Science (100% take-home exam. XD Not to mention that I did an intro of sorts to this in JC.)

And then there’s the History of English (intermediate course) but it’s mentioned in the syllabus that it’s for people who are not native English speakers. ._______.

And the worst thing is, I want a light schedule.

And yet I’m squeezing in classes like crazy.

How contradictory.

（´・ω・｀）

久しぶりに。

いいアルバムに出会えたのだ。

どのアルバムかは今度語るが、今回はちょっと．．．
I feel like ranting about something that sort of irritated me.

たしかに「これ」が好きだ。
誰にでもrecommendしたい。

でもね、やっぱ音楽のtasteは人それぞれだな。

だから、(That’s why)
私は言わない。(I won’t say it.)
私は思わない。(I won’t think it.)

that this is 「better」 than some other music out there.

No.

Don’t try to compare music of different genres and say this is 「better」 than that genre please.

好き嫌い(Personal preference)はtotally fineだけど。

Saying some genre is better than another ticks me off.
Even if I’m a fan of the proclaimed “better” genre.

No.

They cannot be compared.

They cannot be put on the same scale and weighed.

少し成長して、
こういう風に思ってから、
以前の私の愚かさに恥ずかしいと感じた。

が、
やっぱcompareしてしまう人はいる。

“Better” is a indeed positive word.

But saying something is better than the other means that there is something lacking in that other one.

At least, that’s how I take it.

PS: I know that mixing languages in a post may irritate some people too, but uh, I can only apologize and say that sometimes I just feel like using “this” language to express my thoughts. While, like music, there is NO language that is more beautiful than the other and whatsoever, I do believe that every language has slightly different nuances, and sometimes it’s difficult to find the same expression in another language that expresses that exact same nuance you want to get out of the original sentence/thought.

This will be reaaaaaaally short. I figured that I should write something on this. Lemme organize it properly, with the 5Ws and 1 Hs. ^^;;

Who What Where When Why How

I’m sure you can find Who (is applying? Well duh, you), What (is SILS? You won’t be here if you don’t know that), Where (to apply? Go to their website), When (to apply? Go to their website) easily, so I’ll just focus on:

• Why
  • did I apply to SILS?
  • was I accepted? (Just my speculation, don’t take my words for it.)
• How
  • did the admission process go?

Go under the cut for more!

Continue reading →

Just realised that I haven’t updated this in like 2 and a half months. Aha.

Life has been pretty busy since school started up again – classes, circle activities, and… well, TV programs, online shopping, and recently, movies.

SO.

I think I’m going to try to record down my life here in Japan – it’s not very eventful (well, I walk to school aka I almost never ever get out of this area), but well. It’s Japan! I’m in Japan! And I feel like if I don’t write them down somewhere, I’m going to forget about it – how I felt, what I realised, and… all that.

SO.

THE SEA.

The sea is blue.

I went to the sea. I mean a place next to the sea for 合宿 (training camp). And I thought, the sea is really beautiful. Can’t say much for the beach though, uh. But the sea was beautiful. I love the waves. And the sea breeze… was really strong, but I liked it. (Just not how my hair feels afterwards. XD) Oh and because it’s off peak season, and the beach here isn’t that beautiful, and it really is quite a distance away from civilisation (in Kanagawa prefecture), it was pretty empty save for the people doing water sports (that make use of the pretty huge waves and strong winds). And I like that.

.

TAIKO!

Taiko all lined up for us to play!

I got to experience Taiko for a reaaaaally short session for one of the classes I signed up for (Japanese traditional culture and pop culture). This was my first time going so close to a Taiko and actually playing drums (no not including games XD) so, well, it was a new experience. (Am I boring or what?)

Speaking of musical instruments, I’m kind of a 三日坊主 (a person who cannot stick to anything; gives up after a short while). I’ve picked up the piano when I was in Primary School (Elementary school; Grade school) but gave up after three months (I didn’t like any of the teachers I got – I changed teachers like three times during that period). I’ve also picked up the violin in Upper Primary (when I was 11) but gave up after a year when I picked up Erhu (as my CCA) — I realized that I can’t handle both at the same time. But in the end, I gave up Erhu after three years. (And to think that was my reason for choosing the secondary school I did — to get into THAT chinese orchestra, and then I realised that I don’t do well when pressurized… or I just don’t do well when I do feel the passion for the thing I’m doing.) I also picked up the guitar for a month before giving up. Hi Chords? Uh I can’t remember all the different variations of you!

Anyway, back to Taiko. This was the first rhythm instrument that I tried and I have to say I enjoyed it. BUT I can’t imagine myself learning this instrument – for one, as much as I appreciate drums and rhythm, my sense of rhythm is average at best, and I get distracted easily. And… I’m starting to think that I can’t continue musical instruments for long.

ANYWAY. Yes Taiko. I love the sound of the instrument. I think I read it in one of my Japanese textbooks a while back, that the sound of the Taiko resembles that of our heartbeat, that it resonates and make one feel at peace or something like that. I found that really true. (Of course, this isn’t my first time hearing the Taiko, but just thought I’d repeat this.)

And the score.

is so cute.

but it reminds me of scores for chinese instrument (at least for the erhu). Probably the lines. And the simplicity.

.

CINEMAS (or movies).

I think I’m hooked onto movies.

Three movies in a span of 4 days.

Watched Hoshi wo Ou Kodomo last Wed, and then Moshidora and GANTZ Perfect Answer on Sat. AND I’m going to watch ParaKiss on Wed (there’s this Ladies’ Night discount thing every Wed ;D) — that kind of clashes with my rehearsal (my circle’s holding a performance on Thu) b-but I booked the ticket on Sat! ^^;;; C-can’t cancel it and I’m not about to let my 1000yen go to waste. D:

I really enjoyed Hoshi wo Ou Kodomo. It really resonated with me. And the art, the music, and the sounds, the pacing, the story, and the characters, all of them are done so well. This is yet another movie from Shinkai Makoto that’ll probably accompany me for a while. Probably going to watch it a second time in the cinema (the STARS especially were ethereal) and then wait patiently for the Blu-ray release. I HOPE IT’S GOING TO BE RELEASED BLU-RAY! D: They did release his previous two movies in BD and this seems like it’ll be a bigger hit than them (though my favourite Shinkai movie is still Byousoku 5 centimeters) s-so, … right? And I’m saving up for the soundtrack and this… complete guide or something for the movie. Probably getting the pamphlet too if I’m watching it a second time.

As for Moshidora and GANTZ Perfect Answer. Well, they’re good. But just good.

Moshidora was a little weak in its pacing (they took their time developing the front part, sort of rushed through the middle, and then slowed down a little at the back), and then I couldn’t stand the main character when she *spoilercensorXD*-ed and *spoilercensor*. But she redeemed herself (albeit a little too sudden a change of attitude that I sort of went >_____>;; at it), and the ending really portrayed that sense of excitement and being moved from (watching) sports.

As for GANTZ (I watched the first part on the plane and though this too), there were slightly too many scenes (fighting scenes at that) that went on a tad longer than it need to. And the movie exceeds 2 hours. The ending was pretty good though some may say it was cop-out, and there are still a few questions left unanswered (not sure if they were answered in the manga, but I’m not about to go through all volumes of the manga to find out). And there were a few times I went like “Damn the girl is too weak! Annoying. The perfect depiction of damsel in distress. Damn kill her now. Just kill her.” and also “Uh did you forget that you could have used that?” Um yea. Still, you won’t be wasting your money by watching this movie – it’s still pretty good entertainment, it’s just that… yea. ^^;; I probably won’t recommend this movie to anyone who are not (1) a fan of manga (especially shounen/seinen, battle manga), (2) a fan of action and slightly dark stories, (3) a fan of humans vs aliens, humanity and such topics, (4) a fan of any of the main cast.

One thing though – I really love the cinemas (that I’ve gone to) in Japan. For one, it doesn’t smell. … Unless the person beside you stinks or does something that, uh, emits smells. Secondly, the seats are nice. Thirdly, generally the audience is pretty aware of cinema manners. … That is not related to being aware that the seat in front of you is occupied and anything you do to the seat will affect the person in front of you. For both Moshidora and GANTZ, there was someone either, tapping the seat with his foot, or outright resting his foot using the back of the seat as a stopper or something – I don’t think his foot was ON the seat, I didn’t turn around to check. I didn’t do anything for the first situation (think that was GANTZ), but for the second, I sort of knocked my head back in a “I know that you’re doing something, I can feel it, and I don’t like it” way and the person, uh, realized and stopped doing what he was doing to my seat. =D

BUT there is one thing I definitely don’t like about the cinemas here. the ticket pricing. Hello, 1800yen normally? 1500yen if you’re a student (University or High School), and the cheapest it’ll go is 1000yen on 1st of each month (service day) or every Wednesday if you’re a female. Expensive. Freaking expensive.

Still. I love the experience of the cinema. The big screen, the almost surround-sound (depending on which theatre – if you sit too far back, the sound doesn’t surround you), and how the lights are off and you’re left with (ideally) only you, your imagination, and the story in front of you. (Of course the story must be captivating enough to not leave you looking around you or wondering when will it end.)

Yep.

So that’s it for today.

Have a good week ahead!

I’ll try to update weekly. =D

Waseda just told us (yesterday in an online notice) that we will be permitted to delay our admission period. Frankly, the thing I’m worried about now – enough to delay my admission period – is the speech I have to record/give… and also partially the train transportation – due to the rolling blackout, some lines are not working and I’m not sure if it’ll affect the transportation from the airport to my place. (I don’t have to think about transportation to school as my place is walking distance from school.)

I believe in Japan – that they can contain the spread of the radioactive particles… at least not until Tokyo, and… more pressing, that there will not be a widespread blackout happening (be it thanks to the rolling blackout or the save electricity calls and self-initiated campaigns).

So, it’s just the speech. Really. And perhaps also as I don’t think I’ve said enough goodbyes yet. And the calls of concern from my family and parent’s friends and my friends.

At current, my parents have rescheduled the flight so I won’t be flying off anytime soon – it’s rescheduled for 2nd September (if my memory didn’t fail me) to meet the September admission. That’s like 5 and a half months from now.

But I’m insecure.

What am I going to do in these five months?

My friends have started working. I should, too, but where? I’m a pretty, uh, picky person. I don’t mind working in retail sales, as long as I’m paid a fixed hourly rate and not by a low basic rate + commission (I can’t ensure sales! I can provide information and assist people and all that, but I’m not a pushy person D:). I don’t mind working as a cashier too but I’m just not quite sure about the pay. I would love to do admin or data entry, but the pay rate is quite low too… and idk what else I can work as. I don’t think I’m good enough to give tuition. And I don’t want to be a telemarketer. What else are there?

Oh and I should make use of these 5 months to learn how to drive. And to slim down. And to polish my 女子力 www and so on and so forth.

But everything is NOT confirmed yet, and I think that’s what I’m most uncertain about.

I don’t want to commit to anything that will require me to stay in SG for the next 5 months (aka work, and learning how to drive) until it’s confirmed that I will be delaying my admission to September, and that they won’t be delaying the April admission schedule (orientation, classes etc).

I know.

There are still a lot of things I can do in SG and I admit that I’m not sure if I’m ready to start living on my own yet.

But.

There will be a lot of things I can do over there as well. And I can’t be sure that I’ll be more ready 5 months from now.

I’m confused. Or just plain uncertain about my feelings.

I know for sure that I want to be in Japan – even now – but just uncertain when I should go.

If there’s another pro to not going immediately, it’ll be that I won’t be there to use electricity and water and all the public facilities and I’ll be technically saving electricity and water for them. My apartment’s contract’s all signed and paid for and we will continue to pay for it for the next 5 months since well, one good thing about my apartment is that I didn’t have to pay key money – or the will-not-be-returned 2 months deposit – so it all adds up to the same amount if I cancel now (and probably have to pay some termination of contract fee) and then search for another one (and probably be required to pay the 2-months deposit!) nearer to my departure. And we can’t confirm whether we can find another apartment that is this big for its price (‘kay it’s not very big and it’s not very cheap but by inner Tokyo standards, walking distance to my school, and in a quiet and safe environment, it’s pretty reasonable already). And so yes. That means I’m essentially saving electricity and water as, well, it’ll be an empty apartment! And every little effort to save electricity and water helps, no? =D

(But I’m not that selfless so that is not enough to convince me that I’m better staying here.)

Anyhow.

I don’t know. I’m not sure.

But well, what can I do?

It’s really all 贅沢な decision – since essentially I’m just deciding whether to go now, or to go later, and I’ll still end up in Japan for the next 4 years either way.

But.

Yea.

.________.

I’m feeling uneasy.